The past can be one of the hardest things to leave behind...💭♥️

Today I woke up sad. I woke up in my bed at home in North Haven, Connecticut. I should have woken up in my bed at Providence College. I should be watching my snap story and cringing at the drunk snaps and the sound of my voice belting to the song All My Friends...for 12 consecutive snaps. I should be complaining about the pizza I consumed at 3 am and the smell of its remains that lay opened on the counter. I should be getting dunkin or breakfast at Ray, Providence College’s dining hall, with my friends and reminiscing on the previous night. I should be at my favorite place on Earth with my favorite people on Earth, well that’s what it feels like at least..

As the influx of move-in day pictures fill my insta and facebook feeds, the reality that I am no longer a Providence College student is hitting hard. Harder then I realized it would. I’ve always hated change and been bad at goodbyes so I anticipated this but not to this extent and thus here I am journaling via my note-section on my phone, coping mechanisms FTW (shout out to my amazing social work professors who taught me this) Anyways, If you’re reading this and you’re still in college or even high school I just want to remind you to cherish every single moment. Every laugh, tear, panic attack, test, talk, book, lunch date, library date, all nighter, class, office hour, and everything in between.......Because I promise you before you know it, it will all be but a memory and you’ll be laying in your bed at home wanting nothing more than to be reading that policy book in the library on a Tuesday stressed about the insane amount of work you have and wondering what you’ll find in your dining hall to eat for dinner. 

If you’re in my shoes and you graduated undergrad or grad school and you’re sad and scared and lost and anxious I’m here to assure you that you are not alone.

 Although we feel like we should be somewhere else, at the place we called home the four previous years, the fact of the matter is we SHOULDN’T be. We SHOULD be exactly where we are. We graduated!!!! We freaking did it despite all the times we sat there at 4 am staring at gibberish convinced that graduating just wasn’t in the cards for us. Yes, it’s sad and scary and weird and uncomfortable and the unknown of the future is freaking terrifying but we are exactly where we’re supposed to be about to embark on the alluring adventure known as the rest of our lives!!  

A little terrifying to think about, I know, but let’s not pretend that four years ago today we weren’t all laying in our dorm room beds in this unfamiliar place with complete strangers terrified out of our minds..... & now look at us :) 

I do believe that we leave something of ourselves behind when we leave a place, we stay there, even though we go away.  Infact, I believe that we never even really leave a place we love, we take part of it with us and it remains in our hearts forever stored with memories that will keep us warm when we are older. 

So yes, I know it’s hard right now and your feelings are so valid but as cliche as this might be, “don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened”

 Look back not with sadness but with gratitude. Look at how much you have grown. Think of all of the beautiful humans you met and all of the crazy knowledge you’ve obtained. You’ve just concluded a chapter of your life that you will forever look back on/ ‘read’ to be reminded of some of the best times of your life.

Now, as you continue to take life by storm; start grad school, start a new job, or whatever it may be, remember, “you will never be completely at home again, because part of your heart always will be elsewhere. That is the price you pay for the richness of loving and knowing people in more than one place” ♥️

Yours Trulee <3